Microfiction Revision: For Honor

ORIGINAL:

For Honor -

The rain poured hard, pattering against the building as V approached the hostage. They laid kneeling, hands cuffed behind their back, neon lights from the billboards painting the room in red and purple lighting. Time was running short, and V had to move soon. Suddenly, a flash of lighting and thunder rocked the room, stunning V and forcing him to freeze. Eyes blinded by the light, he froze until his vision recovered, showing him the assassin before him, blade drawn and against the neck of the hostage. "Too late", he said. V screamed as the sword swung.

Author's Note: I wanted to capture the moment in action movies where the hero is about to rescue someone, which is why I used imagery describing the scene to help add that idea to the narrative. Sometimes the hero saves someone at the last second when they think all is lost, so I ended the story right at the moment he would have saved her to leave it up to the reader to interpret how they think things would end.

He grabbed her. She slipped anyways.

Author's Note: This is my attempt at writing a six word horror story, so there is a lot of ambiguity on the context of this situation. I simply wrote out the action and conclusion of the action in the story, leaving the rest up to the reader to interpret why and how it occurred.

A rainy day in a vicious city

REVISION:

Revision Note: I removed some unnecessary wording and then rewrote the final sentence of the story to give it a more cohesive ending rather than just a scream. I rewrote the final sentence of the second story to still give the same ending as before but give the reader a different mental image of what could've happened.

For Honor -

Rain poured hard, pattering against the building as V approached the hostage. They laid kneeling, hands cuffed behind their back, neon lights from the billboards painting the room in red and purple lighting. Time was running short, and V had to move soon. Suddenly, a flash of lighting and thunder rocked the room, stunning V and forcing him to freeze. Eyes blinded by the light, he froze until his vision recovered, revealing the assassin before him, blade drawn and against the neck of the hostage. "Too late", he said. V lunged as the sword swung, pistol zeroed on his head.

Author's Note: I wanted to capture the moment in action movies where the hero is about to rescue someone, which is why I used imagery describing the scene to help add that idea to the narrative. Sometimes the hero saves someone at the last second when they think all is lost, so I ended the story right at the moment he would have saved her to leave it up to the reader to interpret how they think things would end.

He grabbed her. He felt air.

Author's Note: This is my attempt at writing a six word horror story, so there is a lot of ambiguity on the context of this situation. I simply wrote out the action and conclusion of the action in the story, leaving the rest up to the reader to interpret why and how it occurred.

A rainy day in a vicious city